By John Perry Barlow
| During the past two decades, the first ten amendments to the Constitution have been quietly revised by the state and federal judiciary, sparing us the untidy political melee of a constitutional convention. The new Bill of Rights, based on current case law, might look something like this. |
|
Amendment I
Congress shall encourage the practice of Judeo-Christian religion by its own public exercise thereof, and shall make no laws abridging the freedom of responsible speech (unless such speech is in digital form or contains material that is copyrighted, classified, proprietary, or offensive to non-Europeans, non-males, differently abled or alternatively preferenced persons), or the right of the people peaceably to assemble (unless such assembly takes place on corporate or military property or within an electronic environment), or to petition the government for redress of grievances (unless such grievances relate to national security).
Amendment II
A well-regulated militia having become irrelevant to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms against one another shall remain unfringed (excepting such arms as may be preferred by pushers, terrorists, and organized criminals, which shall be banned).
Amendment III
No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the ownerÕs consent, unless that house is thought to have been used for the distribution of illegal substances.
Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures may be suspended to protect public welfare. Upon the unsupported suspicion of law-enforcement officials, any place or conveyance shall be subject to immediate search, and any such places or conveyances, or property within them, may be permanently confiscated without further judicial proceeding.
Amendment V
Any person may be held to answer for a capital or otherwise infamous crime involving illicit substances, terrorism, or upon any suspicion whatever, and may be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb (once by state courts and again by the federal judiciary), and may be compelled by various means (including the forced submission of breath samples, bodily fluids, or encryption keys) to be a witness against himself, refusal to do so constituting an admission of guilt, and may be deprived of life, liberty, or property without further legal delay, and any private property thereby forfeited shall be dedicated to the discretionary use of law-enforcement agents without just compensation.
Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecution, the accused shall enjoy the right to speedy and private plea-bargaining before entering a plea of guilty. The accused is entitled to the assistance of under-paid and indifferent counsel to negotiate his sentence, except where such sentence falls under mandatory-sentencing requirements.
Amendment VII
In suits at common law, where the contesting parties have nearly unlimited resources to spend on legal fees, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved.
Amendment VIII
Sufficient bail may be required to ensure that dangerous criminals will remain in custody, where cruel and unusual punishments are usually inflicted.
Amendment IX
The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others that may be retained by the government to preserve public order, family values, or national security.
Amendment X
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution are
reserved to the department of Justice and Treasure, except when the states
are willing to forsake federal financing.
John Perry Barlow, who lives on a ranch in Wyoming, is a lyricist for the Grateful Dead and co-founder of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a group dedicated to protecting First Amendment rights in the computer age.