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Angels
I
recognized them at once, at so young an age that now I do not even remember
it, but certainly I knew them for Angels.
As
a child, I felt for them a special reverence, whether they were little
ones near my own age or adults, unapproachably apart from boyhood understanding.
They were a special set of creation, finely forged upon the workbench of
Heaven, placed upon the Earth by Divine Inspiration, special and incorruptible.
Yet, I could not avoid observation. As I grew, I could not ignore
what I observed.
I
began to feel a growing unease. Not all was right in the world, for
misfortunes befell them from which they ought to have been protected.
A man injured was an acceptable reality, but not a woman. A woman
should not fall prey to harm. When assailed, she ought to slip between
the blades of fate. Faced with danger, she should exercise her special
prerogative and be preserved whole and undamaged. To allow a woman
to be mangled upon the highway and bleed upon the pavement was a blasphemy.
Bombs ought not to fall upon women. Dams ought not to burst upstream
from women. In a world containing women, men should be more careful.
They should design special precautions into everything that they did.
They should always consider that women might get caught in the crossfire,
and protect them.
Men's
treatment of women was baffling. I did, eventually, reconcile such
behavior with the course nature of men. We're a rough and unworthy
lot. Maybe, given time, we'll improve. Meanwhile, I expected
that women would rise above our violations.
As
each disappointment fell into line, I couldn't reconcile the women with
the ideal. Their mean, petty, screeching behavior didn't fit my expectations.
The image against which I measured them came with me into this world, whole
and complete. It remains with me today, uncorrupted, but women have
proven to be very corruptible. Imagine my disappointment as, through
the years, women refused to be special. Imagine my bitterness as
women rejected the high place ordained for them, stridently demanded mere
equality with men, and then failed to measure up to even that.
Of
course, I learned to distinguish between the real and the ideal.
I learned that I cannot change the women. I also learned that I will
not change the ideal. Women might descend into a low and alleged
equality with men, but without my approval. I acknowledge first the
ideal that came with me into this world. She, alone among all women,
will never disappoint me.
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